


When Corona Bans School

by Dee_Queen_Of_Idiots



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: And Hand Sanitizer, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is a character, Comiń for Arnold’s guts, Crack Fic, Disney World, Disney World & Disneyland, Evil Author Day, F in chat for Legend hair guys, First Crack Fic, Four didn’t even get to say anything, Four is unimpressed, Fourth Wall Break, Gen, Gettiń the gun, It was supposed to be Interactive, Legend now needs to go the hospital, Me and the boys fourth wall breaking, Musical Part, Musicals, Should Have mentioned Legend’s Cactus, Somewhat creepy ending, Stonk Market, Stonks, The Author Regrets Nothing, The LW I mean not the actual Story here, The official cast recording is coming to you January, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, TiMeS wEeD, Time also didn’t, WILD.EXE - Freeform, WIND STOP EATING THE BACON, We found the Crack Bois, We have TP, Weed, Weed in a Memeing Way, they were both they’re for a sentance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23127793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Queen_Of_Idiots/pseuds/Dee_Queen_Of_Idiots
Summary: Wind don’t eat the bacon or this happens.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	1. ‘Corona banned school so Crack Time’

**Author's Note:**

> No one came to this live write (during midnight) which meant I could eventually pull the stunt.

Legend hobbled down the stairs. _Fuck!_ he thought to himself as he slipped on the carpet rug think, barreled down the stairs, and got a concussion.

“Gotta be worth it for the bacon” Legend muttered getting up not caring about the concussion. He checked the clock on the banister. ‘8:30’ P.M. “Good”

  


Wind wouldn’t be here to steal the bacon this time. Even though Corona had shut down school, Wind still had his saturday detention, which started at 4:00 am.

  


Legend went into the kitchen and screached, _**”BACON”**_

Twilight looked down from his newspaper like a tooooootaaaaaalllllllly sane person said “Wind already ate it”.

  


Legend Stared for a moment in shock then cried. First Marin now this, He kept on losing things in life.

  


Legend started ripping his hair out, while WILD.EXE and Hyrule entered the chat.

“F in chat for Legends hair guys”, Twilight said partially caring. But WILD.EXE and Hyrule were to busy singing, “It means no worries for the rest of our days. Its our problem free, philosophy, SMITING HYLIA.”

  


Twilight went back to reading his newspaper which was about Vibiń™️. “Huh WW3 is really happening,” Twilight shook his head and turned the page, “Disaster year”.

Sky Slid into the room saying “IWANNAEATMYFRIESANDDOGS.”

  


Legend, stoped pulling out his last bit of hair.

  


Twilight, stopped reading.

  


WILD.EXE and Hyrule stopped singing.

All to look at him.

  


But WILD.EXE Suddenly said, “WILD.EXE does not understand, closing down program”

  


WILD.EXE was a robot from that moment forward.

  


“Well oof,” said Wind walking in with two 6-packs of beers. He was ready to party.

  


Suddenly Disco music started playing, it was 80s Disco Music. Legend pulled out his last strand of hair in retaliation.

  


WILD.EXE started screaming. Twilight changed it to country music which made everyone start screaming.

  


Warriors came in running holding Four above his head. And threw him.

  


”YEET THE CHILD”

  


Four was obviously very pissed about this and theatened to call the cops.

  


Which he did.

  


The police knocked at the door saying, “FBI, OPEN UP”

  


Legend started sobbing, “It all started when my pet cactus DIED”

  


Hyrule, being resonable was like, “Legend we’re going to jail.

  


Warriors polietly opened the door, “hello welcome to our humble home, would you like a tour.”

  


The police/FBI forgot all about their job and started the tour.

  


Sky more worried about a Platapus than Time asked, “Hey were’s perry?”

  


Skys head suddenly became a durrito. He ran outside to scream, ‘I KNOW WUT WERE GONNA DO TODAY’ but a bird beheaded him first, because durritos are to good.

  


So his lifeless body threw a bannana.

  
And his lifeless head inside of the bird screamed

RAT

  


But no one heard it so it didn’t count as diolgue

  


Wind meawhile maneged to chug all beer up.

  


He looked at the screen and said, “I didn’t eat all the bacon actually. It was gone for so-called-plot.”

Meanwhile Time was tryin to get drugs.

  
_

—_—

Meanwhile The girl told Warriors she was killing Arnold.

“This is why Time cant leave the house” Warriors said earing a pretzel stick while seomthing probably burned in the backround. It had been 6-hours later after all.

  


“Ok, but can i kill Arnold?”

  


”Yes”

  


Saying yes was a bad choice.


	2. Why did Warriors say yes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arnold’s going to be dead if Warriors, Four, and Forth-wall breaking High as a Kite Time don’t Stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like 2 people were kinda actually interested

“Why did i chose to say yes?”

”idk”

Warriors tapped his foot waiting for the girl to say anything. With Time and four in the backround cuz’ they didnt get enough screentime last time. “So who is this Arnold?”

“He spat on your foot”

“I never met an Arnold who did that.”

”Oh i forgot I didnt write that one, it just inspired this.”

Four suddently shot up from his chair that he was sitting on in the backround for plot-convince. “Wait does this mean this is made up? Am i made up? Is WILD.EXE-“

”Didn’t he stop working?”

  


Time interrupted to ask the most important question, “Is My CrAcK ReAl?!”

“Of course it is im writing this right now arn’t i?”

Warriors grabbed both of the girls shoulders, “WHO IS THIS ARNOLD?!”

  


“Shush, Don’t worry about it ELW is ready hunting his balls.”

  


Time interupted again, “BuT If My CrAcK Is NoT FaKe ThEN WeRe Is IT?!”

  


“I dunno mister high as a kite, this is what you get for letting the fourteen year old return home with Beer while you find drugs.”

  


Four slapped the girl, screaming, “CAN WE PLEASE NOT TURN THIS INTO AN ANGST FIC!!!”

  


“Fine, Fine”

  


The girl put down her gun.

  
Warriors asked the second most important question, “Wait where are we? Last time i remembered we were in the kitchen of the house. All i see is some writing, in black?”

“AO3 Dumbass”

  


Four screamed, “WHY’D YOU SEND ME WITH?!?!”

“YOU DIDN’T GET ENOUGH SCREENTIME LASTTIME.”

  


Warriors started looking around looking around, “Wheres my pretzel stick?”

  


”Its still in the last part?”

  


”HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!”

  


The girl started typing

  


c! clap STOP BEING ANNOYING FOR THE POTENTIALLY 2 PEOPLE READING THIS

“God damnit! Navis not allowed on this Website”

“N-Navi?” Time started sobbing, “where is she?”

  


“Be high before this becomes Angst”

  


“Excuse me we’re not being annoying you’re, the one writing this”

  


The girl gasped. He had found out _**AND USED PROPER GRAMMER**_

“Thats right I used proper grammar,” Four said confidently, “and that means you used proper grammar as well.”

“God u not letting me write bad, for the love of god”

  


Warriors slid back into the dms, “My week is this week even though according to vote everyone hates me.”

  


“Yes well i voted for Hyrule.”

  


“You slick fuck-,” Warriors said before beating up the girl, “How do we even know you writing this?”

  


“Bitch i didnt get bruses or broken bones thats how.”

  


Four straight up threw a chair even though he probably wasn’t straight.

  


“DUDE WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT???” Four said losing the good grammer.

  


“Thats what you get and it could be true”

  


the girl gave a sly smirk.

  


Time started screaming again “WhErE iS mY CrAcK?!?!”

  
The Girl, Warriors, and Four all ganged up on him.

  


“WE DUNNO”

  


Time suddenly got smart, “But you do know young lady. Your writing this.”

  


“Ok but to be clear,” She suddenly turned clear, “I dunno everything ‘bout you guys. Your gonna need to ask Jojo ‘bout that.”

  


Time sat down in the chair that suddenly reapeared that Four was using earlier, “I have an idea but young lady you’re going to have to, get rid of Warriors and Four. They seem to be done with your antics.”

”God not you too with the good gammer?”

  


”Yes me too”

  


The girl groaned.

  


”I suggest Legend-“

  


”Ok so i gotta get Legend outta the fake hospital where he’s recovering from his cincussion.”

  


“Ok but you’re forgetting another person,” Time said, realizing Warriors and Four had vanished.

”Fine sky then.”

  


“Didn’t sky die last chapter?” Time asked self-awarely.

  


Even though it wasn’t a word.

  


”First of all Self-Aware bitch-“

The girl stopped speaking to look something up.

  
  


Time looked away from the floating picture to see a bald Rat named Legend, and a knewly alive Sky.

  


“Ok whats the plan? We only got 5 minutes left so we gotta do this in next part.”

  


Time smirked.

  


”OH NO”

  


Time smirked more.

  


”OH GOD NO”

  


Time laughed.

“We SeArCh FoR MY CrAcK,” Time said acting high again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp there goes the forth wall


	3. Searching for the Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legend and Sky get roped into a not really adventure looking for Times Crack, and an annoying girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emoji for discord to make a pun

“So wait,” The hero of Legend said rubbing his head since he still had the Cincussion, “So sending me, Sky, and yourself on a missions to find crack. ... FOR TIME?!”

”Yep”

Legend Groaned, “Jesus Christ”

Sky stood in shock, and then spoke, “Who the fuck is that?”

”Guys we have something to find.”

they walked down the street.

”Wait were on a street now?” Sky asked.

”Yes, and thank god the both of you dont use proper grammer.”

The girl looked up from the map.

“This should be the place”

Sky cocked his head, “Wait were searching Crack ... In a crack fic??”

“Well waddya expect this to be a fluff fic?”

“Id might actually prefer that more,” Legend piped up.

Then he hugged Sky.

”WAIT HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!?!” Both of the hero’s screamed.

I make the rules

...

currently

someone will soon take my place

Legend screamed, “How are there so many people controling my body!”

LW dingus.

”What does LW stand for?,” Sky asked. “And why did I use an emoji erlier?”  
  


1\. Live Write

2\. Reasons  
  


Wait how come we have dialogue tags and, quotation marks and you don’t?

Cuz’ then nobody would know who is speaking.

Oh.

Thats right dipshit.

I see that now.

I turned the corner to start going in.

Sky stopped me.

He wanted me to keep using the the girl, when refering to myself so i wasnt comfusing.

“Damn how did you know?” The obvious said.

Im writing this as i speak.

The girl turned the corner.

The good stuff for Time

A random guy that had no description, cuz’ he wasnt important said, “just get the crack yourself bitch, your writing the plot.”  
  


Touché

The girl teleported them into the void were Time was sitting.

She was also had a bag.

she handed it to Legend.

Legend threw it at times face.

”why not end it here.” Legend said hoping for it to be over.

Good idea.

Suddenly Sky and Legend were back in the kitchen.

“Hey Legend?”

”Yes Sky?”

”Why does this seem like a sitty self-incert fanfiction?” Sky asked.

”Thats because it is,” Legend said bluntly.

Right you are.

Also can i barrow Wind and Hyrule?

  


Legend and Sky screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are you running!!!! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING!!


	4. The stonk Market

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girl, Wind, and Hyrule sell tp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marin’s on my hitlist now

Ok let this terrible party start

  


”Don’t ever call this a party with any word attached ever again,” Legend said grumpily dragging Hyrule and Wind it the kitchen from a void where the living room probably would be.

  


Well exuuuuuuuuse me hero.

“Goddamnit”

  


”WHO ON EARTH IS THIS PERSON?!?!?!?” Sky screamed for the second time.

  


”Nobody important Legend and The girl said at the same time.

  


Oh yah and I should probably let Hyrule and Wind speak.

  


“WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON Re-,” Wind tried to say before he was cut off.

  


Don’t you dare say the no-no word.

  


Or I’ll tell time.

  


“I think he’s high,” said Hyrule matter-of-factly.

  


Yep.

  


Comon you two lets go sell tp and handsanitizer.

  


“Stonks,” The meme-Lord aka. Wind said.

_**YES STONKS** _

  


“Lets go make some Rupees,” Hyrule said storming out the the door into the void.

  


-Time skip-

##  MarinBOTYesterday at 10:10 PM

Could not find a track for that input!

Marin shut up!

  


”Don’t tell my girlfriend that,” Legend said realizing she was not dead.

  


This is off script now, so i can be rude however i want.

  


“Wait can i see the script,” Hyrule asked.

  


Yeah

  


The girl handed him the script.

  


-You obtained ‘Dee’s script-

  


“‘How did you do that,’” Hyrule said reading off the script.

  


I can do many things.

  


Hey Legend the stand done yet?

  


“Yes it is.”

  


The sign was very sloppily panted with ‘Tp and handsanitizer’

  


The girl, Legend, and Hyrule, sat down on boxes full of tp, Handsanitzer, and more tp, respectally.

  


“Wait why are we sitting on boxes, and i thought Wind was here?”

  


To protect the goods and oh Lord i screwed up.

  


Suddenly Legend was gone and Wind took his place.

  


”So you’re done Vibe Cheaking me i suppose?” Wind said.

  


I was never Vibe Cheaking you

  


i was

  


_**ULTRA VIBE CHEAKING YOU** _

  


“Damn,” The two beside her said

  


Then an unimportant customer came up, “i want 20 rolls of tp.

  


2,000 rupees please

  


The person handed over the money and the girl handed over the tp.

  


”thats how much your selling it for,” Hyrule said genuinly pissed.

  


“Damn! Were rich!” Wind said with a big smile.

  


Bitches we so rich we could go to disney world

  


actually not

  


“We make more money to go to disney world then,” Wind slamed his fist one the table.

  


Thankfully another customer came up, “I want 10 bottles of handsanotizer”

gotchu bitch

its 4,000 dollars

  
The customer handed over the money

  


the girl obviously gave over the handsanitizer

  


” _ **BITCH**_ Why would you do that?!?!?!?!?!” Hyrule screamed.

_**STONKS** _

  


“Were cheating people out of money” Hyrule screached

  


But nothing happened

  


“Welcome to the stonk market,” Wind said with a sly smile.

_**  
STONKS** _

  


“WhEn WiLl YoU LeArN, wHeN wIlL yOu LeArN tHaT yOuR aCtIoNs HaVe CoNsEqUeNcEs?!??!??!?!?!?!?!”

  


_**”NEVER”**_ said Wind and the girl in usion.

  


Anyways when we go to disney world we’ll bring Four

  


“You know what, this would be better if the audience (that hardley exist) could interact,” Hyrul

  


Fine i’ll do that never part jeez.

  


“Ok but we definetly need to go on the teacup ride,” Wind said.

  


Oh fuck yeah we will

  


“Can we invite WILD.EXE?” Hyrule said with a little bit of hope that was going to be shredded.

  


No because he stopped working

  


The little bit of hope that Hyrule had was shredded

  


“Please don’t be that rude please,” Hyrule said knowing that he couldnt get crazily lost without WILD.EXE

  


I do what i want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hyrule does have a point tho


	5. The Supposed to be Interactive One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’re going to Disney Land folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be interactive

“YEA I BET NO ONE WANTED TO COME SINCE YOU CHEATED THEM OUTTA THEIR MONEY!” Hyrule screamed looking at the title

  


Ow listen here you little sh-

  


“TEACUP RIDE!” Wind and Four simultaniualy screached.

  


“Oh yah were at Disney world,” Hyrule said.

  


he then ran off to join

  


The Girl sighed, because no one was here to interact with.

  


She realized something.

  


Hey Hyrule didntcha recomend Interactive.

  


Obviously no-one wanted to interact with you

“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND JOIN US!”

  


Well fuck

  


The girl joined them.

  


“So wait why am i here?” Four asked.

  


Cuz’ you were fun to write a couple chapters back

  


“Oh,” Four said Meekly

He didn’t really want to be here

  


“Damn right I don’t,” Four paused, “I only partically want to be here, here for fun. But i also want to be away from you.”

Wow.

  


Thanks.

  


“What can i say except your welcome!” Four sang.

  


“Oh Damn next part should be a musical part!” Wind said joyfully.

  


”NO” Four and Hyrule screached.

  


_**YES** _

  


They were all still on the turning teacups

  


“Hylia! Can we at least go to the castle?” Four asked.

Not yet.

”I’m surprised the people let us in, last we went Time was hella high and we go kicked out,” Wind said.

  


Damn

  


I missed _that_

  


“That didn’t even happen, you just wrote that for backstory,” Four scoffed.

  


Damn you!

  


**Being self-Aware**

  


“Your fault,” Four said crossing his arms.

  
Four then straight up flew out of the cup

  


Even though he wasn’t straight

  


“DAMN YOU!” Four said flipping the girl off.

  


The girl turned to Wind and Hyrule.

  


so waddya two think of a Musical Fic next part

  


“Definatley” Wind Said

  


”Nope” Hyrule said.

  


”OH HELL NAW” Four screamed coming back a mess

  


Its decided then

  


Musical part

  


Four screamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
> “SHUT UP”


	6. The Musical One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musical on St. Patty’s day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cade threatened my Femur during this

“Well thats unfortunet guess we’ll just have to-“

  


SHUP UP FOUR ITS TIME TO GET MUSICAL ON!

  


Hyrule shook his head, “Wut”

  


Legend walked in holding a coffee mug, “The hell did i miss?”

_  
_

“Complete and udder bullshit” Four said under his breath

  


”OH FUCK! Legend infected four!” Wind said with a good point, “We have to save him!”

  


Suddenly Wind burst out into a song cuz’ this was the musical part

  


L & F: “FOR THE LOVE OF-“

  


“WE NEED TO SAVE FOUR CUZ’ LEGEND IS A DICK. HE IS SUPER SICK, INFECTING EVERYONE LIKE ITS COVID-19 eeeeeeeeen“

  


The girl wiped a tear cuz’ it was so amazing

  


“Oh reeeeally bitch try this,” Legend responded with,” Please tell me where you ever thought i was Sick, cuz’ I BE LIVIŃ IT UP”

W: “Your an Asshole“

  


“MY DEEEEEEEEVINS BEAST IS A BUNNY, AND AT LEAST I BRUSH MY TEETH“

  


W: “Bitch”

  


“SO DONT BELIVE YOUR ABOVE ME CUZ’ IM THE KING (of rats)”

  


Well i think-

  


“Well think its my turn,” Four said pushing the girl out of the way earning a ‘bitch’.

  


“Theres F-F-F-Four of me“

  


W, L, H: “WHAT THE HELL?!”

  


“Yes theres F-F-F-Four of me, RED, GREEN, BLUE, VIOLET. May not be the full rainbow but...”

  


W, L, H: “Well ... Well ... Well?”

  


W, L, H: “WELL?”

  


“I’m Better than you’ll ever be“

Well now-

“Oh boi, Singing time!” Hyrule said grabbing the mic.

  


“I cAnT sInG sO iM gOiNg To ScReAm InTo ThE mIc AnD aCt LiKe It”

  


L: “That really wasn’”

  


”DID ANYONE ASK YOU LEGEND?!?!?”

  


L: “No-“

  


”GoOd cUz’ WhEn I lEaRn To SiNg I’d Be WiNiŃ tHiS wHoLe DaMn ThInG”

  
W & F: “Yes you will yes you will“

  


Legend ripped the mic from Hyrules fingers “You hate this and thats whyyyyyyy Your not-”

  


Legend ur singing time is over

  


You ruined it cuz’ Hyrule didnt get his last minute.

  


“Ok first of all u dragged us into this mess, second i know he can sing,” Legend said pissed off

  


“Sooooo ... We got ten minutes left what do we do?” Wind asked.

  


Get Sky.

  


“I was summoned” sky said graduatly caseading down from the heavens.

  


“The fuck was with that dramtic enterence?” Legend pointed out.

  


Sky sing.

  


”No”

  


Fuck

we gotta pack up

  


Wind put away the musical equitment with a frown, “goodbye buddy”

“Glad i dont have to deal with your shit ever again!,” Legend yelled.

  


Bitch this might be the End of the Corona banning School fic cuz’ i have other shit to do

but bitch

  


_**I ALWAYS COME BACK** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There goes my Femur  
> Oh  
> ...
> 
> I WILL BE BACK

**Author's Note:**

> I’m comiń for u Arnold


End file.
